Woody Allen (1935-)
American comic
actor, writer, and filmmaker
The chief problem about
death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife -- a depressing
thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the
fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held.
-- Woody
Allen, "The Early Essays," Without Feathers
I do occasionally envy the
person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or
suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
-- Woody
Allen, Rolling Stone, 1987
If only God would give me
some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a
Swiss bank.
-- Woody
Allen, "Selections from the Allen Notebooks," in New Yorker,
Not only is there no God,
but try getting a plumber on weekends.
-- Woody
Allen, "My Philosophy," The New Yorker (December 27,
1969), Getting Even "My Philosophy" (1971)
How can I believe in God
when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric
typewriter?
-- Woody
Allen, Without Feathers, 1975
If it turns out that there
is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about
him is that basically he's an underachiever.
-- Woody
Allen, from the final monologue in his film, Love and Death (Thanks,
Geof!)
To YOU I'm an atheist; to
God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
-- Woody
Allen (attributed: source unknown)
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also
believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
-- Woody
Allen, (attributed: source unknown)
I don't want to achieve
immortality through my work ... I want to achieve it through not dying.
-- Woody Allen, quoted
in: Edward Lax, Woody Allen and his Comedy, ch. 12 (1975), quoted from The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations
"If Woody Allen were a
Muslim, he'd be dead by now."
-- Salman Rushdie, Indian-born British author, quoted in: Independent
(London, 18 February 1989), quoted from The Columbia Dictionary of
Quotations